Everyone, Somone
by Pretty Persistent
Summary: What exactly did Brittany mean by "everyone"? Speculation, based on the "Bad Reputation" preview. Some implied Faberry.


**A/N: Alright, here's just a quick one-shot with a pretty interesting pairing! It's based on the "Bad Reputation" preview, featuring Brittany, which, by the way, is hysterical. The idea came to me and I had to go for it.**

**Happy reading!**

"You promised you wouldn't tell!"

Rachel stormed up to Brittany's locker, grabbed the much taller girl by the arm, and whipped her around so that she was glaring up at her. Although she spoke in a hushed whisper, it sounded as if Rachel was shouting in Brittany's face.

"Whoa. Back off, man hands!" Santana moved to Brittany's side and gave Rachel a threatening look.

Brittany looked to the floor and shifted her white-sneakered feet uncomfortably.

"I'm good, San," Brittany said, shiftily, "You shouldn't be late to class, again…"

"If you're sure…" Santana responded, hesitantly, before shooting one last glare at Rachel and walking away.

Once the girl was out of earshot, Rachel started back up again.

"I know you're pretty stupid, but I expected even you to know how to keep your mouth shut!"

Brittany clamped her teeth together, her jaw tight, proving that she could, in fact, do so.

"Okay, okay, I get it," Rachel continued, hastily. "I'm sorry, but I'm a little angry. You promised not to tell anyone."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," Brittany said, pausing. She was on her third attempt at getting her locker combination correct. When it finally opened, she continued. "What was I not supposed to tell, exactly? The fact that I think that duck that hangs out by the creek is my long lost brother? Or that I think my cat is reading my diary? Because I let that one slip to Santana, on accident…"

"No, Brittany. None of that!" Rachel threw her hands in the air, in frustration. "We had a deal, remember?"

"Oh, that…"

'That' had occurred just a week prior…

_Rachel had been sitting in fifth period honors music theory. It was when most kids in her class had gym, which Rachel, due to her excessive amount of arts classes, had been exempt from. She was growing restless. Even an honors music course couldn't challenge her, thanks to her years of training._

_Having completely zoned out, Rachel raised her hand in the middle of the lecture and declared, "Ms. Tillman, may I have the bathroom pass?"_

"_I'd prefer you wait until the end of class, once lecture is over," her teacher responded._

_Rachel sighed and slumped in her seat, watching the clock, to determine how much time she was losing._

_Almost immediately after the teacher wrapped up, Rachel swiped the pass from her desk and headed into the hallway. _

_Halfway to her destination, Rachel realized that she did, in fact, have to go to the restroom. She groaned and sped off, hoping not to be set back too far._

_After all was taken care of, she had finally reached the ladies locker room. Weaving in and out of the rows of red lockers, Rachel hoped to catch a glimpse of someone, but the bell was about to ring and everyone had cleared out and headed back to the gymnasium._

_Everyone, that is, but Brittany, who was sitting on a bench in her Cheerios skirt and only a plain white bra, on top._

_Rachel was taken aback and considered turning around and heading back to class. But instead, she moved forward and stood in front of the blond girl._

"_Brittany, what are you doing?"_

_Brittany looked down at the uniform's tank top piece in her hands. "I keep forgetting which way this thing goes on…"_

_Rachel rolled her eyes. "Here, let me help you. Hands up." She grabbed the tank top and motioned for the girl to lift her arms._

_Sliding the shirt over Brittany's head, Rachel felt her hand brush the girl's breast and felt her face turned beat red._

"_I don't see how that helped," Brittany said._

"_Brittany, it's on the right way! I promise," Rachel stammered. "I'm not cruel enough to make you walk around for the rest of the day with your shirt on backwards."_

"_No, not that," Brittany responded, calmy, "It's just, you came in here, obviously all hot and bothered and you just put my shirt back on."_

_Rachel's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "Excuse me? I didn't come in here looking to relieve any sort of, er… tension, with you, Brittany," Rachel said, over-defensively._

"_Oh, I know," Brittany said, "But I'm the only other person in here, right now."_

"_Well—uh… so?" That was all Rachel managed to get out._

"_Sooo… you need some action and I'm good at making out." Brittany's tone had not changed throughout the conversation. "And it's, you know, fun. So it's a win for both of us."_

"_I-I don't know…" Yes, she had come in here on account of a certain girl, but it wasn't anything Rachel had ever actually tried before. Even still, she sat down on the bench, next to Brittany, her hands gripping it, on either side of her._

"_It's just making out. I mean, I can always just find someone else…"_

"_No!" Rachel shouted, abruptly and accidently. "I mean, I guess I could, um, give it a try…"_

"_Alright, then," Brittany stated._

_Rachel leaned in first._

"And afterward, you said it would be our secret. The type of secret you don't even write in your diary, because—"

"Because you never know who could be reading it. Yeah, I remember. And I kept it a secret," Brittany said. "Even from my cat…" She muttered the last bit under her breath, gritting her teeth a bit.

"But Brittany, you told some of the glee kids that you made out with _everyone_ at school. I know I'm practically considered a nobody, but I am still considered to be—"

"And you call me the dumb one…" Brittany sighed. "I said that with an entire bottle of pills in my system, at the same time I was thinking about what it would feel like to swallow your own tongue. Look, everyone doesn't mean _everyone_, Rachel."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you honestly think Kurt would make out with anyone with boobs? And, well, Mr. Schue's still a work in process…"

Rachel shook her head. "Wait, so you're saying they didn't take your statement literally?"

"I'm saying your secret is safe with me," Brittany said, making things easier on herself.

"Alright. So we're good, then."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

"I only made out with you because I like pretty, blonde cheerleaders, you know," Rachel said, as-a-matter-of-factly. After Finn, Rachel was through with dating dumb.

Brittany merely shrugged.

Rachel burrowed her eyebrows. "Aren't you going to tell me that you only made out with me to boost your 'Glist' ranking?"

Brittany giggled. "No offense, Berry, but hooking up with you wouldn't help my ranking one bit."

Rachel crossed her arms and dropped her mouth open. "Then why _did_ you—?" she started.

But Brittany was already walking away, waving behind her.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed! Please review. (:**


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